Written Jul 12, 2012 8:14am by Renee Albracht
Yesterday was a very good day. I got a lot of work done and even though I was tired when I got home, I got on that treadmill. This time, I walked three fourths of a mile, ran, walked three fourths of a mile, and ran again. I ran for half a mile this time! I felt so good during and after, both mentally and physically, as if I was not sick. Even though cancer was discussed during the course of the day, I felt like it was a cancer free day, something I have been wanting and needing!
(I do think Mike was wrong about 5 being the level and 12 being the speed. I think the pace may mean how long it would take to run a mile because when I was at level 3, the pace was 20 and when I was at level 5, the pace was 12.)
One of the last songs I listened to was Bon Jovi's Just Older and Welcome to Wherever You Are. I will post the latter song on Facebook. I have always loved that song, but it has taken on a new meaning for me now!
There is a line in Just Older that says, "You can't win until you're not afraid to lose." Something sparked in me when I heard that. It reminded me of a question I heard posed on the radio the other day. The DJ asked callers what they would tell their 12 year old selves if they could.
I knew the answer immediately. I wanted to be a drummer more than anything in the world, but I rarely practiced because I didn't want people to hear me. I remember a neighbor telling me they could hear it.
They weren't complaining, but I quit playing as much because I didn't want them to hear how bad I was. (which was all in my head. I wasn't bad at all, simply a novice!)
I never fully sought opportunities to play in bands because I was scared.
I would have told my 12 year old, beginner self, that I had to practice to get better. I would make mistakes, but that was okay. Don't be afraid. People aren't staring at you and judging you like you think they are. Do what you love and don't worry about anything else.
I am a long way from 12 years old, but I am also no longer afraid. I was going to take the night off from editing my book, but that line reinforced my need to move forward, even if I just did a few chapters.
So, after my workout, I started editing Child Eyes again. Wow! I can't believe I ever tried to publish that thing the way it is. There were so many errors. I have been making changes, deleting and rewriting some parts. I hope Life Before Me shows I matured as a writer since writing Child Eyes!
I went to bed feeling a great sense of accomplishment. Good day!
I do want to ask all of you to pray for my friend, Mike. He has been a rock for me through the divorce, with this cancer, and at work. He is my best friend.
He is also dealing with a tremendous amount of stress in his life. He is going through a divorce, recently bought a house, and got a promotion all within the past six months.
Within the past month, he has had to pick up some of my slack at work and help take care of me, he has had to take on more responsibilities with his own job which are overwhelming him, and his oldest daughter has come to live with him.
He is feeling extremely stressed out and on the verge of breaking and I can't do anything to help him. No matter how much I tell him he's a good guy or how much my boss tells him he is doing a good job, he still thinks he is worthless and letting everyone down.
While I was on the treadmill the other day, he was sitting and talking with me. I joked and said that I had all the answers to other people's problems. He asked me what I thought he should do. I told him. He had a reason why those solutions would not work. So, I started to simply listen, let him vent, knowing he has to come to his own conclusions.
Please pray for him, that he will find peace and the answers he is searching for.
Thanks!
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