Written Sep 5, 2012 8:07am by Renee Albracht
Life with cancer truly is getting tougher. My body certainly is taking a beating. Ate half a piece of pizza last night and got terribly sick to my stomach. Started to feel faint again and went to bed early feeling rather depressed that I was not feeling well. Woke up in a funk this morning, still with a stomach ache.
I woke up yesterday not feeling as good as I would have liked, but feeling much better than I felt on Sunday. The day started with a stomach ache, but by mid morning, I felt better.
Then, I received an email from my insurance company letting me know that a claim had been processed on my behalf. I made the mistake of going to their website to look at it. That made me sick to my stomach. I saw all the medical bills that have gone through, what each one charged, what the insurance company paid, and what was left for me to eventually pay. I took those numbers and added what would be left for six more treatments and one more hospital stay. Wow! Even with the insurance company paying 80% in most cases, looks like, unless a miracle happens, I will be paying for this cancer long after the cancer is gone!
But, I quickly put that out of my mind the best I could. After all, the only other option would be to either not pay it or stop treatment--neither of which is really an option at all. So, since there is nothing I can do about it at this point, I put it out of my mind.
Well, that's not 100% true. I first emailed my family. My sister did a fundraiser for a family with a five year old son with Leukemia. I asked her and my family to think about possibly doing something like that for me. (Please keep them in your prayers. His name was Tynan Chapa and he passed away just over one month ago. You can follow his story at http://tynanscrusade.blogspot.com/ Be sure to have tissue with you as you read.)
On a side note, that little boy, a boy I never had the opportunity to meet, touched my heart so deeply. They had a candle light service during the fundraiser. He didn't want to light his candle. Yet, when he found out about my cancer, someone he knew only as Tori's sister, he wanted to light his candle for me. I cry now thinking about it.
I can't recall the whole story, but before he went to join Jesus, his mom asked him how he wanted to be remembered. Ladybugs reminded them of his grandmother. After contemplating this question, he answered, "a hummingbird." I used to never see hummingbirds around or at least never paid attention. Now it seems that I see them everywhere in art and picture. When I see it, I am reminded of that little lover or Jesus and I have hope--not that I will be lucky enough to be healed quickly and never have to face cancer or anything as nasty again. I simply have the hope of Christ. That is enough.
Wow! After typing that, my sour mood has lifted. A miracle! Thank you, Tynan!
The hope of Christ certainly is enough. Instead of writing what I intended, I will end with this for the day. The hope of Christ is enough!
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