Written Sep 1, 2012 11:23am by Renee Albracht
It's been a while since I checked in. Thank you all for keeping me in your prayers. This round was not much easier pain wise, but it seemed to go by faster.
Wednesday was about normal. I was mush both in brain and body. I stayed in bed most of the day. I only got out of bed for dinner. Mom fed me lunch in bed.
Thursday my brain was doing a bit better, but my body was still mush. I much prefer when both are worthless. It's tough when my mind is starting to work again, but my body feels dead. I stayed up until about noon then went back to bed.
On Friday, I still had very little energy, but stayed awake all day and moved from the bed to the couch. Brad came to visit me and even stayed for dinner!
When I talked to my sister Friday morning, she was pleased that I was out of bed. I told her had mom not been there, I probably would have stayed in bed. Why bother getting up? She thought I should post that. It says a lot about how important it is for my mental health to have someone here with me.
Even though I didn't have an appetite all week, I still ate well. My mom fed me well!
Our table conversation has not been very appropriate, though. I apologized to Morgan last night. I teased her that she was going to know way too much about me by the time all this was over. She is very sweet. Said she understood and that it didn't bother her.
The conversation was gas and bowel movements. One night, my mom made beans. I said beans were good for me because as long as I had gas, my stomach wouldn't feel bloated.
Chemo treatments have left me constipated. My doctor told me to eat more yogurt and bananas. I have been doing that as well as taking stool softener, but it didn't help. Yesterday, I had to go so bad, but it was tough going. I ended up bleeding. It was enough to where I didn't know if I was having a period again after all this time or if I had pushed too hard. I quickly determined it was not natural bleeding.
I called the doctor and the woman who took my message was concerned enough to try to contact the doctor immediately. He did not answer. However, his nurse called back rather quickly. She told me that it was most likely the pressure of going that caused the bleeding. She recommended taking the stool softener twice a day and to call back if I continued to bleed.
I know I have completely lost any sense of decorum. I think it's important to be completely honest about what I am going through. Every treatment brings something just a little bit different. If anyone reads this now or in the future, I want to be honest about what I am going through so I can help them.
This morning, I got up and made french toast for the first time ever. On good weeks, a few of us from work go to breakfast on Friday mornings. Since I could not go, I was craving french toast. I was already craving it earlier in the week when I had no appetite or energy. I wanted to be the one to make it. So, mom bought stuff to make it with earlier in the week and I made it this morning. I have to say, not bad for a first try!
This treatment cycle, I have felt nauseous longer. I even felt nauseous still last night and early this morning. I don't like taking the pills longer than I have to, though, and luckily, I felt better when I woke up later in the morning.
Although my bones and muscles don't hurt as bad this time, they still hurt. My shoulder blades, collar bones, and shoulders still hurt, especially the collar bones. They are extremely sore, but it could be worse.
Good news is the depression was even less this time. I didn't once have that sadness that God wasn't taking me home.
A coworker called and told me there was a woman looking for me. She said she spoke to me last week and never received a fax I was supposed to have sent. At first, I was adamant that I hadn't talked to anyone last week about faxing a report to her. Then, I changed my mind. I took her word for it. No way I can remember all the details right now. My short term memory is shot! Besides, all I can do at this point is say okay and promise to fax it as soon as I get back to the office. My brain is still a little foggy, but it gets better every day.
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