Written Sep 17, 2012 11:09am by Renee Albracht
I made it through church yesterday, but that was about it. Getting ready wore me out. Since I was going to be standing in front of the entire congregation, I wanted to look nice. So, I pulled out the iron and wore pants instead of jeans. Unfortunately, the first pair were a bit long and my only pair of brown shoes look old and worn. I would wear them any other time if I were not going to be in front of so many. Fortunately, my daddy ironed another pair for me!
During prayer time, my dad came and prayed with me. With his hands on my shoulders, a friend's hand on my arm, and one of the pastor's praying with me, I cried. I do that so much these days. Again, as I've said before, it's not because I feel sorry for myself, I simply feel humbled and truly blessed and loved.
As Pastor Ulmet preached, I began to get a hot flash and with that plastic on my head (the wig), sweat ran down my temples. I usually freeze in church! When I don't feel well and I get a hot flash, I start getting light headed and feel sick. As I listened to the sermon, I prayed the hot flash would pass before the pastor called me up. Last thing I wanted was to lose focus or pass out! I was not nervous, but I did not want to look sick in front of everyone.
This moment was important for me. I knew what I wanted to say even though I did not know exactly what Pastor Ulmet intended on asking me. I know my story is not unique. I know there are countless others who are prideful and don't know how to love or be loved. I knew God wanted to use me to speak to someone else.
As always, when it's God's will, He will make it happen. The hot flash went away and I spoke what was on my heart. Not one bit nervous or nauseous! Luckily, our church posts sermons online. I recommend you listen to the whole thing, powerful and uplifting sermon. However, if you want to listen just to my portion for now, it starts somewhere around minute 32. (Sept 16) http://www.nfcn.org/templates/_1stchurchnaz/details.asp?id=35458&PID=436436
My dad, Mike, and Morgan came with me. We did not stay for Sunday School, though. I told my friends, Tommy and Carol, that I would not be joining them for Sunday School or lunch. Tommy said I looked good. My dad said I put up a good front.
We went home and I spent the day lounging on my bed with Dad watching football. Had I not felt bad, that would have been a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon! I missed the end of my Texans game because I decided to take an anti nausea pill. The pills may not be taking away my nausea, but they put me to sleep. At least while I sleep, I don't know I hurt!
Just before the game started, The Parrotts (my Sunday School teacher and his wife) called. They prayed with me over the phone and told me I made several in the class cry with my interview. They said it was even more special knowing I wasn't feeling well at the time.
That's a part of the change the class, and my family and friends, have made in me by teaching me about love. I am starting to learn to do things out of love for others and not merely do what's best for me or what I want to do. I am learning to become like those others I have so admired!
My dad left early this morning. After taking him to the airport, I came home and went back to bed. I knew I had a lot on my plate today at work, but I still was not/am not feeling well. However, the nausea isn't so intense. I can now burp and yawn without feeling like I'm going to vomit.
It was an email from my aunt Amy that finally got me out of bed. She asked if I was able to suck it up and go to work even though I felt yucky! "HOPE you can...easy for me to say, eh!!" She is so sweet and cute! Love you, Aunt Amy (or should I say 'Grandma Amy')! As I lay there cuddled with Bailey listening to and watching the rain outside, I gave her a gentle squeeze and a kiss and said, "Time to get up! Momma's got to suck it up and get to work!"
And...yes...Tynan is still my inspiration. I put the sticker my sister sent me which reads "Tynan Tough" by my television so I see it all the time. If that little boy could go through all he went through, so can I!!!!
Before coming to work, I texted my boss to see if it was okay if I could come in without the wig. In our line of work, perception is reality. Some might think I shaved my head on purpose and that may not be the image we want to portray in this department. It is just too uncomfortable with the hot flashes, though. He, of course, didn't care. Said it was up to me and my comfort level. I rarely ever wear it anymore and am not perfectly comfortable without it. So, today I am at work without the wig. I am wearing my security ball cap, though!!!
Oh...and one more thing...God works in mysterious ways! Our office is having a simulation exercise for our armed officers tomorrow. The guy is coming today to set up. He is using the same space we were supposed to use for my self defense class. Since he is using the space, we can't have class tonight! My instructor coming in for the physical portion of the class will cover most of the lecture stuff throughout the other classes. They will also have the workbook as reference and I invited them back next semester if they want to make it up. I also sent an email highlighting some of the basics of daily crime prevention. I would normally be upset with this setback, but given my current circumstances, I see this as divine intervention. I am still not that good at letting go (even temporarily) of my responsibilities and things I enjoy doing!
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