Written Jul 10, 2012 8:23am by Renee Albracht
Worked out for the first time in four months yesterday and it wasn't pretty.
I haven't truly worked out in over two years. Once upon a time, back before my divorce, I worked out four days a week and sometimes twice a day! I would get up before work, go to the gym, and lift weights and do some cardio. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I went to Krav Maga, sometimes for two hours! Although it wasn't rock hard, I did have a clearly defined four pack!
After the divorce, I hit a patch of depression and quit working out so much. I stopped going to Krav regularly, but continued to work out in the morning. Then, I kept getting sick and quit going to Krav all together and worked out sporadically in the morning...if I could drag myself out of bed. Then, I got sick and stayed sick and stopped working out completely. I spent most of the past four months in bed or on the couch.
I never worked out in order to have a four pack or to be thin. I did it because it made me feel good. Working out in the morning was a great way to start the day! I absolutely LOVED Krav Maga, even if it did leave me sore and bruised!
Now, I know working out for my health is extremely imperative. I know I can blame some of my muscle and joint aches and pains on my lack of physical exercise. I know I can attribute some of my low moods and stress on lack of physical exercise.
But, I was afraid to start again for two reasons. After being away from Krav for over a year and away from a gym for four months, I knew I was going to have to start again from the very bottom. I wouldn't even be able to make it through a Krav warm-up right now! How depressing is that?
Then, there's my stress factor. When my body heat rises, my skin starts to itch and I can feel my port. It doesn't hurt, but it feels as if someone is pushing down on my skin. I don't like feeling it. Last Sunday, I felt this long skinny tube, the catheter, for the first time. However, at the time, I didn't know it was a catheter. In my worst case scenario mind, I thought it was a swollen vein with a blood clot and that I was going to die! (I didn't really think that, but the thought did cross my mind.) I called the on call nurse and found out it was just the swelling going down and I was finally starting to feel it.
Anyway, even though the doctor has told me to be as normal as possible and that I can and should work out just no "kung fu," I was apprehensive.
Like all fears, once you face them, you usually find out there was nothing to worry about in the first place! So,even with sore knees and an upset stomach, I got on that treadmill, turned on my Bon Jovi, and went for it. The depressing thing is that I never made it over 3.5 miles per hour. It took me almost 40 minutes to go two miles! But, as my friend Mike said, at least I'm doing it. I will never make it up that hill (and back to Krav Maga) if I don't make that first step!
On another note, we ate Chinese last night. My fortune read, "Be prepared to modify your plan. It'll be good for you!" Made me laugh considering the "plans" I wrote about yesterday. God just may be laughing at my plans and intending to send me to Zimbabwe instead of Texas. Hope not, but "It'll be good for (me)" if He does, I suppose!
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