Every Song is a Memory

What can I say about the Bon Jovi concert and live Q&A on the big screen? What would anyone who knows me even a little expect me to say? It was absolutely amazing and went by too fast.

During the live Q&A, I stared with adolescent adoration at my hero. Fifty years old and still unbelievably gorgeous! And, how funny those men are! They had me laughing out loud on several occasions. We were able to text and tweet questions. Unfortunately, with this broadcast around the world, my question was not chosen.

The concert - it was extremely difficult to stay in the moment because every song is a memory. Having been a fan for almost twenty seven years, I can chronicle my life using Bon Jovi songs.

There's Living on a Prayer, the song that started it all. I sat in my cousin Jessie's basement in Columbus, Nebraska playing, MTV in the background. Living on a Prayer came on. I thought it was a catchy tune and I turned my head to face the screen. At that moment, Jon Bon Jovi turned his head toward the camera and smiled. That smile. I fell in love at that moment and have been in love ever since.

Songs like Stick to Your Guns and Keep the Faith kept me going during the difficult days of my childhood before I gained self confidence. Their music kept me sane and kept me from doing something stupid. Their songs gave me hope.

More recently, their songs kept me going during the hardest days of cancer. Songs like Thank You for Loving Me and Love Me Back to Life were my prayers with God.

"Love Me Back to Life"

This world don't give you nothing it can't take away
Everybody holding on to something
Nobody wants to fade away

No forgiveness on the streets of this town
I left my patience at a traffic light
There's no denying that I almost lost it
Threw in the towel, too tired to fight

Tonight I need you
More than yesterday
Tonight I need you

Take me, touch me, hold me like you mean it
Make me come alive
Hurt me, heal me, come and make me feel it
Rescue me tonight
Love me back to life

When I was angry and was feeling like kicking cancer's butt, I would listen to songs like Have a Nice Day.

Ohhh, if there's one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
I'm gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, I show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day.

When The world keeps trying, to drag me down,
I gotta raise my hands, I'm gonna stand my ground.
Well I say, Have A Nice Day.

I heard Jon say Have a Nice Day is a nice way of giving life the finger. This was my way of giving cancer the finger.

Bounce picked me up and gave me strength to keep fighting!

This ain't no game; I play it hard
Kicked around, cut, stitched and scarred
I'll take the hit but not the fall
I know no fear, still standing tall
You can call it karma, call it luck
Me, I just don't give a

Bounce, Bounce Nothing's gonna keep me down
Bounce, Bounce Stand up, shout it out
Bounce, Bounce I play hard, I play to win
Count me out, count me in
I'll be bouncing back again

During my more mellow and accepting moods, songs like Story of My Life and Welcome to Wherever You Are encouraged me.

And no matter what mood I was in, Love's the Only Rule would make any bad mood better and pump up good moods. I would turn it up loud and play it over and over again.


I don't give a damn how it's supposed to be
That might work for you
It don't work for me

You write your truth and I'll write mine
One man's ceiling's
Another man's sky high

Flying like an aeroplane
Cryi Like the lonely whistle of a long black train
Dance in the pouring rain
Spit in the eye of a hurricane
Who said life has got to be so cruel
Love's the only rule

It's written in the scars
Where I fit in
It's going to hurt sometimes
You got to lose to win

You've got your sins
And I got mine
Sell your secrets kiss them all goodbye

They didn't sing all these songs tonight, but they sang many songs that brought many memories. On the way home, I listened to Bon Jovi CDs and thought of more.

As I watched and listened and remembered just how big of an impact Bon Jovi has made on my life, I wished there was a way I could thank them. I tried. My text was not a question, but a thank you. I knew it was little chance my text would be read, but I gave it a shot.

I am fully aware that it wasn't Bon Jovi music alone that got me through these past six months. Christian music and tons of people also helped get me through it. I am also fully aware that my story is probably not that unique. I am sure there are tons of fans with stories worse than mine who claim that Bon Jovi music helped them through dark times. Still, there is something profoundly therapeutic in their music and I wish there was some way I could let them know just how special they are and just how much they mean to people like me.

As the credits rolled, they showed photos of fans with their special signs and shirts. My favorite was a woman with a sign that read "my husband hates you!" I joked with myself thinking I should have a special t-shirt to wear or sign to take with me to the concert when Bon Jovi plays live here in Nashville on March 6th. The shirt/sign would say "Bon Jovi music helped me kick cancer's ass!"