When my mom was here for Thanksgiving, taking care of me after my last treatment, tickets for the Bon Jovi show in Nashville went on sale - for fan club seating anyway. I did not have the money and asked my mom if I could borrow it and I would pay her back when I got my tax refund. She let me use her credit card. For Christmas, my gift was the concert. I did not have to pay her back. Second best gift ever - next to my Bailey girl!!!
The thing about VIP fan club seats is that you know you will get good seats, but you have no idea exactly where the seat is until you get there.
A few days before the concert, I received an email telling me when and where to pick up my ticket the day of the show and about the extras I would get that I didn't realize I would get. VIP lanyard, VIP pre-show party, VIP lounge, memorabilia display, and buffet - and a photo, tour guide, and some other gift. Believe it or not, I have not looked at the contents of my gift bag yet! WOW! Now, I knew this did not include getting to meet the band, but still pretty awesome!
I was nervous about going to the pre-party because I was by myself and did not know anyone else. However, I could not sit still at home so I left and ended up being one of the first people there. After getting my ticket and purchasing my t-shirt (first in line), they escorted us to the VIP lounge.
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| Sign just as we got off the elevator. |
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| Sign leading into VIP lounge. |
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| VIP lounge. |
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| Buffet. Great food! |
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| Bon Jovi music playing. |
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| I want one of these! |
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| Jacket Jon wore during These Days. |
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| Left to right - New Jersey (album) jacket, 100,000,000 Fans Can't Be Wrong suit , USSR military hat/jacket worn during the Moscow Music Peace Festival. |
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| Slippery When Wet Jacket. |
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| Marine jacket - both of Jon's parents were marines. Said he likes the military cut. His wardrobe person makes jackets he finds suitable for the stage. |
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| Don't remember exactly when this one was worn, but Jon wears black leather a lot and looks darn good in it! |
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| Bed of Roses video. |
I should have known better than to worry about not knowing anyone. We all had at least one thing in common. We all LOVE Bon Jovi. We all paid a great deal more than regular concert goers in order to have this VIP fan club experience.
I sat at a table with a few others who love Bon Jovi and who did not take advantage of the free beer and wine or paid cocktails (the bartender actually chuckled when I asked for a cranberry juice with nothing else in it except ice). We shared our common Bon Jovi stories and admiration for the man and the band.
After a while, we started comparing tickets to see where we were going to be sitting. We all happened to be sitting on the same row and the couple at the table were actually sitting right next to me!
When I left the VIP lounge, I went to the restroom to take off my sweatshirt and put on my Bon Jovi t-shirt. As I was maneuvering in this tiny stall, my lanyard fell in the toilet. I could not believe it. What's the deal with me dropping things in the toilet? I think it must be nerves. I dropped my phone in the toilet just before the Titans/Texans game and my lanyard just before the Bon Jovi concert. Luckily, most if it is plastic. I simply pulled it out, dried it off with toilet paper, and put it back around my neck. (Don't worry, I washed my hands afterward!)
Then, I made my way to my seat. Before entering the floor level, I ran into another group of female fans who asked me to take their picture. They saw my lanyard and had all kinds of questions for me. They were so jealous even though I assured them that I did not get to actually meet the band. After I found my seat, I saw the same ladies walk by. They were jealous again because of my amazing seats.
Amazing they were indeed! I was smack dab in the front middle. There was the main stage, pit for VIP fans who paid even more than I did, the second stage, and me! Directly below me I could see the monitors and a mike stand. I knew immediately that I was going to be front and center within reaching distance of my childhood hero. I became as excited - no - more excited than a child on Christmas morning.
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| My seat. Main stage, small pit, second stage, me! |
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| That's the second stage, where Jon and Richie would soon be standing! |
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| The sea of less fortunate fans behind me! I saw several BJ shows from those nose bleed sections. |
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| This was me looking straight down at Jon's monitor! |
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| Jon's mic stand right in front of me! |
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| The lights and sound right above me. I put a lot of faith in the riggers last night! |
I had been that close to Jon one other time in my life, backstage during the 2007 CMT Video Music Awards at Belmont. I could not act like a fan then and did my best to simply stare out of the corner of my eye. This time, there was no one to tell me how to act or to judge me. I had full rein to act like the fan that I truly am.
The one BIG disappointment I have is that I never made a sign or special shirt like I joked about doing back in November "Bon Jovi music helped me kick cancer's ass!" Jon would have been close enough to read even the smallest sign and I may have actually gotten to shake his hand had I had a sign. God even whispered in my ear before I left the house to bring a pen. I thought that was a silly idea. Why would I need a pen? Not like I'm going to meet the band! Should have listened to that voice!!!
Oh well, I still had the most amazing evening. I am still on cloud 9 and probably will be for a very long time.
When the concert finally started and the band came out onto the stage, I could not believe how close they were. I could see the expressions on their faces and make out every detail about them - even of Tico and David behind their instruments! Best seats I have ever had - for the time being anyway!
Last concert I went to, I spent so much time taking pictures that I never made any real memories. This concert was going to be different. I was going to truly live in the moment and take it all in. Not only did I have the best seats ever, but I was fortunate enough to still be around to see them again. All the stress I have been under lately seemed to melt away. In that moment, I was happier than I have been - well - in several years. It has been a very long, hard almost three years. The realization of what I have been through during those years, especially this past year hit me at this moment. I'm alive! I made it through all of that! I'm here to enjoy my childhood (and adult) hero!
I imagined what that 10 year old girl would think if she were standing in my place. In a way she was. I felt myself getting choked up. I have never cried at a Bon Jovi concert. I would make fun of any fan who cried. No one here would understand what was going on inside of me and that I wasn't simply some silly little fan. So, I fought back those tears and let myself enjoy every moment.
I got side tracked for a little bit, trying to find anyone with a pen. Either no one had one or no one cared enough to take their eyes off Jon long enough to look for me. I decided if it was God's will to give me a second chance with the pen issue, He would provide. I put it out of my mind and focused back on the show.
One of the first songs they sang was "Raise Your Hands." I, like I usually do, stood silently and watched in awe. That did not last long, though. Jon was telling the audience to get their hands up. He looked right at me and pointed. At this time, I could not tell if he was really looking at me or in my direction, but I knew that I was close enough for him to see me as clearly as I saw him, especially when the lights shined on us, the fans.
I at first put my hands up because I didn't want him thinking I was not enjoying myself. Then, I quickly found myself forgetting about looking silly and totally got into it. I raised my hands, clapped, cheered, and sang along to almost every song (except for some of the new ones that I have not heard yet)! I was having the time of my life!
The iphone camera is not the greatest, but I wanted to get a few shots to see just how close I was. A woman sitting next to me was taking a lot of photos with a real camera. She promised to email me copies. I told her I would give her my email address after the show, but she left before it was over. Too bad. I think she got a really great shot of me with Jon!
About half way through the show, things started happening around me. They started roping off an area between the main stage and second stage. A tech was working close to me, getting the microphone stand and other equipment ready. Another man knelt just to the right of me holding Jon's guitar. Those of us on that first row started getting giddy.
Jon stood on the second stage DIRECTLY in front of me. If he would have reached out his hand and if I would have reached out mine (which I did many times while he was on this part of the stage), I could have touched him. I could see every line of his face and even see the callouses on his fingertips. I screamed like a little girl!
He had a mug with water sitting next to his feet. At one point, he knelt down to take a drink. I reached out hoping he would reach back. He did not. But, he looked right at me and smiled. My heart completely melted. I could not believe my good fortune. I may have missed my opportunity with the sign, but how great is God? A seat directly in front of Jon and a smile? How much better could it possibly get?
Richie joined him to sing "I'll Be There for You." This was my favorite song from the time it came out until the release of "Love's the Only Rule." Richie looked at me, too! I felt myself get choked up again. This was so unbelievable. Words cannot even come close to explain how I felt. There is nothing and no one in this life who has ever gotten me more pumped up and excited. What a moment!
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| Lyrics to Because We Can on Jon's monitor as he sang RIGHT in front of me on stage two! |
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| Too bad this one turned out blurry. He is smiling at me for the second time. He had just nearly tripped over a light. He made a silly face, smiled, and laughed! |
Oh how I wish I had a picture of him smiling at me that first time. But, I would rather have lived it and have that memory etched in my brain than to have missed it because I was looking at him through a camera.
As the tech cleaned up after Jon's and Richie's time on the second stage, he picked up a few picks they had dropped while performing and handed them straight to me. I had noticed Jon's picks were black so I assumed correctly that they belonged to Richie. This morning, I looked at the pick and noticed Richie's signature on the back. He may not have handed the pick to me directly, but I still got a pick that had been used by him!!! Since I was given two picks, I gave one to the couple I met during dinner. He could not believe I would give him a pick and kept asking me if I was sure. (Tori, this was my random act of kindness! Sharing the love!)
Back on the main stage, he sang "Want to Make a Memory." I got lost in the lyrics, realizing that we were all making memories. I wanted to cry several times during the night as they sang certain songs such as "Someday I'll Be Saturday Night," "It's My Life," "Have a Nice Day," and "Always," songs that took on a new meaning for me during treatment. Christian radio was a huge part of recovery, healing, and coping throughout treatment, but during those really rough days, when it felt like all hope was lost and I was ready to give up, Bon Jovi music carried me through.
Since I have been a fan for almost 27 years, I have so many memories attached to a lot of songs. So many of the songs would carry me away to a memory of happier days in the past or remind me of obstacles and heartaches overcome that seemed crushing at the time, but which I have long since forgotten, reminding me that this pain, the physical and emotional pain associated with the cancer will one day, like so many other issues of the past, simply be another memory. Some songs took on brand new meanings and some even became like prayers. I will not rehash all that here since I have already written a blog about it.
Then, during one of three encores, Jon sang "Always." Since this is one of the songs that took on new meaning for me, a promise from God that He will always love me, I stared in silent awe as he sang. During a few lines, Jon stared right back at me and sang to me. It was as if he could sense what was going on inside of me. It was such a sweet, special moment for me, a memory I will carry for the rest of my life.
As I watched him sing those few lines to me, I thanked God - for giving me this moment, for giving me these songs, for letting me know that it was okay that I was so giddy, that I wasn't doing anything wrong by being so happy in this moment. I thanked Him again and again the rest of the night and still today.
Even though he did not see me, I blew Jon a few kisses and held my hand to my heart. I thanked him for his faithfulness in using the gifts God gave him. Because of his faithfulness, I, and countless others, have been blessed. It gave me new encouragement to work through the fear of failure and incompetence and start writing again. God used this moment to teach me another lessons about His love and the work we can do for others through Him whether we are aware of what we are doing or not.
They kept on playing when most bands would have stopped. They gave fans like me more than we could have ever asked or hoped for. One thing that really struck me is how so many Bon Jovi fans are more than just fans. The audience sang every word to every song, not just the major hits. The band stopped singing on several occasions and the audience kept right on going. Even with songs that are brand new or never released as singles or not their staples, people sang - every word - at the top of their lungs. It was amazing! I can't even begin to imagine what that must feel like for them, the ones who wrote, recorded, and performed all these songs to hear and know how much they and their music are loved.
I just wish there was some way I could let them know just how much their music has meant to me my entire life - while an awkward child with low self-esteem, as a new teenager coping with the divorce of my parents, in college and as a young adult trying to find my own way, while going through my own divorce, while fighting for my life, and now, while trying to find the courage to chase after my own dreams.
To the men of Bon Jovi,
for three hours of your time last night...
for 30 years and counting of music...
for a lifetime of encouragement...
Thank You!
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| Fan photo from last night - not the final encore, though! They came back to give us more! |
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